A Touch of Clay

Dear friends,

I refer to having read several of the past responses on this matter, and agree that what has been done is no laughing matter (pun definitely not intended).

In point form to highlight some issues:
1) Actors’ time involved in attending of ‘audition’
2) Lack of decency in showing basic respect

These two points sum up my sentiments after having observed your interaction.

1) Actors’ Time Involved in Attending of ‘Audition’
Singapore is unlike our larger counterparts who can afford full-time media actors who don’t have to hold day jobs and are widely applauded on the big screen or TV.
It is advisable not to be inspired by gags of other countries such as the States, where famous A / B-list actors are punked and pranked on in gags.
Our actors here take the time out to attend auditions steadfastly, some in the hopes of being able to work hard at expanding their portfolio, and may not meet with an all-too easy process of leave application from their day jobs, etc.
MCS cannot blame the Arts Community for this reaction, because what has been displayed is the true and honest expressed feelings of the victims.
I label them victims because if this was not a media gag for sake of entertainment (and in this case, severe lack of), I might be inclined to find this a mis-selling of product, a mis-representation, and being a media body does not exempt any corporation / organisation from being accused on those grounds.
In short, grievous, and poorly handled.
The senior management should seriously look into this matter before it goes altogether public.
If the production company should not want to be misunderstood as being possibly fraudulent in-part or completely, they are encouraged to come forth with sound reason (not excuse), and be aware that if the Canadian counterpart should know of this is all its entirety (i.e. a petition be drawn up and sent over / made public), the extent of consequences could be un-funny.

2) Lack of Decency in Showing Basic Respect
As communicated, do not take it for granted that our local actors can afford the luxury of time in going for auditions they perceive and hope to be genuine, because of good faith. The fact that this can be executed at the expense of actors who have to take time out from their daily work or family, provides grounds for a gag that’s anything but funny.
There is no humour and we can see no hilarity in where the planning committee is / was coming from.
It strikes me as juvenile, and poorly attained in terms of showmanship for entertainment purposes.
And do not turn that table to accuse the victimised actors for that in turn, because they have every right to feel, in short, cheated.
Should the people responsible for this find the actors who have stepped forth, to be ‘petty’ or any sense along those lines, please feel free to do a self-check. No two societies are the same. We are not the United States, we are not Canada, much as actors all strive to achieve the same purpose, and that is to entertain.
However if in a society and culture like ours, where prudence is not executed to at least ensure that basic respect remains intact, may I suggest, that the people behind the planning of this idea take their talented ideas to foreign soils.
Because then maybe, we are too small-minded to hold large ideas like theirs, such as belittling actors of their time.

My two cents’ worth.

And apologies if it sounded a little harsh.

Regards,
Touch of Clay

Words expressed are of personal opinion and by no means express the collective word of members of the arts community.

You have a good sound system, a crowd that readily claps at anything and everything, a trio of male strangers seated to your right crunching loudly on ice, and the lights in the cinema that goes dim a near minute too late, and still it is declared to be all good.

Terminator Salvation is a resounding symphony of brilliant script writing, careful blend of instruments that revolves around good directing, cautious graphics and intelligent casting.

Brought to you by the Executive Producer of The O.C and director of We Are Marshall, McG orchestrates his vision with careful thought in bringing the key instruments together.

Christian Bale leads an outstanding role as his character John Connor, whose quiet intensity delivers the necessary characteristics as the son of Sarah Connor.

Two thumbs up for Sam Worthington, whose character Marcus Wright compliments Bale’s performance in chorus, and of course there is Anton Yelchin, who plays the young Kyle Reese.

For those who are adverse to seeing an over-aged Arnie take possible centrestage again, rest assured that he of Austrian accent proclaiming a cocky return, only appears briefly as an overblown, wrinkle-free airbag without a crotch.

With all due respect to the founding actor of the movie, it was good to see good old Arnie for the brief few seconds again on screen, giving us even more reason to be thankful for the new cast, and drawing in the depth of how every scene flowed near-seamlessly together.

For those who are not inclined to sit through a war movie without earplugs on standby lest thy ears get blown away, I would not encourage you to sit through a theatre screening of this. However, don’t regret feeling letdown by missing out on the splendid sound effects and accompanying composition of the overlaying soundtrack, because both sound and visuals compliment each other thoroughly in this resuscitated vision.

I look forward to he who will be back in the following installment, and applaud the entire production team for their evidently tireless patience in bringing forth Terminator Salvation, which saved the initial diminishing hopes I had had after T2.

Where humans versus machines are involved, indeed we cannot deny that what sets us apart are our conscience and beating heart, and no matter how cold or strong an unfeeling object may be as an obstacle in your life in all its apparent treachery, there is always hope. Just know where its mechanical Achilles tendon lies and address it accordingly.

There will always be a new dawn of a crescendo in your life even when it feels like almost all hope is lost.

4 out of 5 stars for an instrumental masterpiece well delivered, and for a soundtrack I look forward to.

This was not meant to be a formal interview, it was spurred by a sudden series of questions that were partly due to mischief and incredulous spontaneity.

There’s Arnie, Heidi Klum, Hitler and cows. Part of the probable reason why the conversation became a little spurred was because it was my first time meeting the German, it was his last night out in Singapore, and I had barely spoken with him the hours before.

TouchofClay: So Ben, is it fick dich or fickendoo?
Ben: (Starts grinning) You mean as in - ?
TouchofClay: Yup, as in ‘help you very much’
Ben: It’s ‘Fick Dich’
Female Counterpart: What are you guys talking about?
Ben: The use of the word “You” here is in “Dich”, compared to “Du”.

We then went on to try explaining to a female counterpart what Ben was trying to say about the usage of the German language, such as the word “Du” meaning “you.”

Female Counterpart: I still don’t get it
Ben: In this case we use “Du” for “you have”, and -
Female Counterpart: Noun, as I said.
TouchofClay: What he is saying is the use of the word “You” is used differently in the German language. Whereas in English you just say “You” but for them there are different words used.
Female Counterpart: Ah, now I get it!

Disclaimer: our female counterpart is an intelligent young lady also studying in NUS with Ben. It was his attempted explanation that threw her off a little, and I don’t quite blame her.

TouchofClay: Anyway, is it pronounced “Rahm-schtein” or “Rahm-schteen?”
Ben: “Rahm-schtein”. They’re so popular outside of Germany it’s almost ridiculous.
TouchofClay: Considering half the world doesn’t know what they’re singing, but picks up on their energy. I think they’re quite okay really.
Ben: I like this band called the “(Insert German words here)”. The second word means “kids”, the first word is that thing they have on the waters… you know like man-made, created, false something…they have it a lot in Holland…”
Female Counterpart: Dam?
Ben: Yes, a dam.
TouchofClay: Of course we were not guessing windmills.
Ben: That’s the first word, the second one’s “kids”.
TouchofClay: (Moment of sheer revelation) THE DAM KIDS!

Female counterpart cracks up so hard she has to slap my open palm, which was not meant for a high-five of any sort, but left open because there had to be a matter-of-fact wave. I receive with thanks anyway. What are these kids, wet and wild?

TouchofClay: So which part of Germany do you like the most?
Female Counterpart: Let’s not get him started
Ben: My place
TouchofClay: Which is?
Ben: Close to Frankfurt
TouchofClay: So instead of referring to it as ‘Your Place’ or ‘Close to Frankfurt’ when we talk, have you ever considered educating the ignorant on the place?
Ben: Mainz (Grins)
TouchofClay: See, educate us.
Ben: Well if I were in Germany I’d just say Mainz
TouchofClay: And you just educated us didn’t you, instead of saying “close to Frankfurt”

Female counterpart cracks up at Ben’s sheepish look.

TouchofClay: So Ben, in all seriousness, does Hamburg have a lot of cows?

Female counterpart looks at me.

TouchofClay: Ali G moment, sorry. It could be the time of the night.
Ben: Cows?
TouchofClay: You know… hamburgers.

Female counterpart erupts into laughters amidst injected “oh-no’s” and looks at Ben.

Ben decidedly plays along at entertaining my lame questions.

TouchofClay: How patriotic are you?
Female Counterpart: Ok let’s really not go there
She starts laughing.
Ben: I like my country, yes. There’s Heidi Klum.

A semi-dreamy look covers his face as he cracks into a grin.

TouchofClay: What makes you think she’s from Germany despite her “Auf Wiedersehen”? She could be from Austria.
Ben: (A semi-devasted, part indignant look covers his face) No, she’s from Germany! Austria producers losers. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s from Austria.
TouchofClay: So in that case, he being a star, what makes you think he’s not German?

Female counterpart cracks up at insinuation and Ben gets it shortly after and looks at me.

TouchofClay: I’d like to say I was not insulting you, because it’d depend on how you look at Arnie. So is he a loser?

The look on Ben’s face suggests he’d like to shut up instead, but cracks into a grin.

TouchofClay: You know, he goes “I’ll be Bach”, but why not Mozart or Beethoven?
Ben: Bach’s German
TouchofClay: Which means Arnie’s German.
Ben: No he isn’t!
TouchofClay: You just want to claim all geniuses for yourself. Bach could be Austrian, just like Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe’s probably Kiwi’s instead of Aussie.

Female counterpart cracks up, like Ben’s face cracks into a grin.

Ben: Well Mozart and Beethoven are German too.
TouchofClay: Mozart? German?
Ben: (Deliberate smug look) They are both German.

TouchofClay: So, Ben. Frankfurt.
Female Counterpart: Oh no.
Ben: (Looking as if he’s ready to take on a challenge.)
TouchofClay: Are there a lot of pigs in Frankfurt?
Ben: Pigs?
TouchofClay: You know, pork Frankfurters, or maybe you guys have lots of chicken there instead.
Female Counterpart: Why did I have a feeling you’d say that already, haha!

Ben cracks into another grin and starts shaking his head.

TouchofClay: So why Heidi Klum?
Ben: Ahhhhh (dreamy look crosses his face, but of course I’m only half exaggerating) Because she’s Heidi Klum, like what you said earlier, MILF
TouchofClay: Or MMILF? (everything is pronounced as a word) Because she’s the mother of all MILFs?

Female counterpart cracks up

Ben: (Grins) Yes
TouchofClay: Or MoMILF?
Ben: And that.

I like the dreamy look on his face and has a new aspiration.

TouchofClay: And the fact that she might be Austrian.
Ben: No!
TouchofClay: Why not? Didn’t Austria provide a safe passage for the Germans during WWII?
Ben: In a way, yeah.

TouchofClay: So Ben
Female Counterpart: Oh no
Ben: (Grinning and looking as if he’s ready to take on anything)
TouchofClay: In all seriousness what of Hitler?
Ben: Well if anyone were to say anything good about him in using his name on the streets they could get arrested. You know the (starts using finger to draw and signal some symbol) crossed thing they spray, those people?
TouchofClay: Swastika, Ben, Swaaaa-steee-ka. Not like “Close to Hamburg” where we don’t know Mainz.

Female counterpart cracks up.

Ben: Yeah, that. Some people spray that?
TouchofClay: Punks or… skinheads! Skinheads?
Ben: Yeah skinheads. If they spray that they could get arrested too.
Female Counterpart: We’d be arrested in Singapore for spraying that too.
TouchofClay: Yeah, maybe for vandalism.

Ben: So yeah we can’t really say his name unless it’s like “Hitler’s an asshole” or something like that then it’s okay.
TouchofClay: Please note that whatever I’m asking or saying is not out of disrespect to you guys, it’s really meant to be half in jest you know.
Ben: Heidi Klum.

I turn to Female Counterpart and tell her “For everything we do not know about Germany, there’s Heidi Klum.”

TouchofClay: So if we were to sneeze and go “achooo-Hitler” that would be okay?
Ben: Well
TouchofClay: Shitler

Female counterpart nearly spurts drink out of her mouth and starts laughing, telling me, evidently, that she nearly spat drink out of her mouth.

TouchofClay: Well that’s to make it sound more natural when you sneeze, isn’t it?

Ben starts laughing.

TouchofClay: So Ben
Female Counterpart: Oh no
TouchofClay: What if Heidi Klum’s a descendant of Hitler?
Ben: No!
TouchofClay: I mean no disrespect to your grandfather

Ben and female counterpart crack up.

TouchofClay: I did say it’s all only a joke, no offense okay?
Ben: (Keeping a straight face)
TouchofClay: Or great-grandfather, but grandfather’s correct I think, from the number of years.
Ben: Well… Heidi Klum.
TouchofClay: Stop your dream, wake up and come back to the real world. You’re German, go be an F1 driver, a Hugo Boss model or something, don’t study.

Ben grins.

TouchofClay: But then of course please do study.
Female Counterpart: Go work for Audi!
TouchofClay: Ah, Ben, the Auto-bahhhhhhn.

Ben’s face lights up.

Ben: Autobahn! Yeah I like it.
TouchofClay: Have you ever driven on it?
Ben: Well yeah, I was at about 230.
TouchofClay: You guys do KM or Miles in Germany? KG or Stones and Pounds? Metres or Foot / Feet?
Ben: We do it the smart way, it’s same here.

There’s a pause and I anticipate a cow’s fart.

True enough.

Ben: You guys stole our system.
TouchofClay: We were part of the British Colony, not German.

Ben grins.

TouchofClay: As far as I’m concerned you guys could have stolen our system.
Ben: No, I’m sure you guys stole it.
TouchofClay: Like dictation is a national sport for you guys, thanks to Hitler.

The conversation goes on, I cannot remember parts of it, only in bits and pieces, and I really am feeling that here’s one good German boy who’s going to tour the region some before heading back to the land of burgers and sausages, and Blackforest desert, a delightful company indeed.

*No part of the conversation involving the Chaplin-Mustached dictator was meant to be insulting in any way towards to Germans - as Ben said they do not condone his deeds of the past and do not want a bad history as such to repeat itself. I have known some lovely German people and am by no means expressing biased sentiments against them.

In tribute to an episode of Sex and the City, where it is reflected somewhat with a tinge of paranoia, that any scrunchy-bearing woman might be declared an exile or extinct.

To set the record straight, I am not a fan of the TV series. It’s almost as appealing as watching my dog shed her fur twice annually, fluff and all.

However, as I was looking at my Comfort Scrunchy in my tote, I realised superficiality is always taken to newer and greater heights, just when we think it’s as bad as it gets.

For all you know, Sex and the City fans might find this article atrociously superficial as well.

Let’s be honest here, do we really need 3500 pairs of shoes and twice that amount of luxury bags?

Fashionista or not, it’s how we carry things that count, not the other way around. For crying out loud (or as known in the Hokkien dialect, kao peh*), I would much prefer that we don’t become accessories of our, well, accessories instead.

Scrunchies. I’ve travelled to a fair share of fashion conscious cities, having grown up in this vain city myself, and note that truly aesthetically beautiful people can carry off a neat, sleek ‘do with a scrunchy.

That being said, as long as one has reasonable taste and is well groomed, it is all good.

And being well groomed does not necessarily mean thrice weekly manicures or looking like an over-clipped front lawn.

Ladies, if we had all the money in the world, I believe we can further cultivate character through several channels: community, aid and welfare.

We bin all unnecessary feminist sentiments and take deeper notice of issues that can be made lighter with financial aid. Don’t tell me there’s greater satisfaction in buying four Gucci bags on a spree, compared with ensuring a Red Cross mission sees an additional two thousand quid in financial aid that could help a disaster stricken zone where shelter and medical aid are needed.

You’ll even have some leftover to buy something quaint for yourself, and cookies to fill the crystal jar.

The heart you wear is like the tastefully created scrunchy they scoff. Wear it amicably because the world needs a beating heart like how our hairs sometime require the scrunchy to hold it beautifully.

To pioneer and not blindly follow.

Make a choice, it starts with yourself.

*Kao Peh in its original form refers to the grieving act of one mourning the loss of a paternal figure, however in this case I am referring to its slang in description of ‘making a lot of unnecessary noise’, therefore no parents are harmed in the writing of this dialogue.

There remains a considerable amount of people to hear about an alternative investment vehicle that is very fine indeed.

The Fine Wine investment market has been the leading alternative investment platform in the UK for the past 50 years, and has seen even the Queen of England herself investing in highly sought after labels.

How this platform works is simple: it leverages on the simple yet powerful basis of Supply & Demand, based on various factors covering selective labels:

1) past track record of respective labels’ market performance
2) consistent demand for highly collectible labels that has a sound history
3) past track record of winery in terms of quality of wines produced

We also look at other factors such as a comparison between the mainstream and this alternative vehicle, and chart the significant increase in potential returns.

On average an investor who has his hands on a sound label can conservatively estimate about 8% - 14% P.A over 3 years, amounting to an approximate 40%.

That, and the fact that these wines are placed under full ownership of the investor, including the standard shipping, storage and insurance within the investment amount.

For En Primeur wines (fermenting in barrel at source in France), while they are not possible to be shipped to the respective outbound countries, the wines are still under full ownership of the investors and are inclusive of insurance.

What you might want to consider is doing a general read-up on the internet, where information is widely available, on the Top 5 First Growths of Bordeaux, France, and the significance of internationally renown wine critics such as Robert Parker Jr. (French wines), his associate Jay Miller (who rates Australian wines), Jancis Robinson (first person outside the industry to be certified MW), and the likes.

A general read-through should suffice, because each sound wine brokerage should process their selection of the wines based on the above 3 points mentioned, via a procurement team that secures these highly sought after labels.

Because not all labels are widely available in the open market, these brokerages that manage to secure the labels can do so based on standing relationship with the representatives of the wineries, who produce these wines.

Only about 1% of overall production of wines worldwide can be considered investment-grade, and in Fine Wine investment, it is also definitely about marketshare, especially when highly demanded labels start selling-out in even the larger wine retailers across the regions.

Fine Wines that are considered worth of investment are covered mainly by 2 countries, France (Old World) and Australia (New World). While that is not to say that fine wines of other countries do not hold a respectable value, it is their history based on selection into respective classifications that allow for them to lead the vehicle.

Do take note that labels not within the Top 5 First Growths of Bordeaux, France, should not be unfairly dismissed as “non-valuable”, as there are other rankings such as the Super Seconds, and other highly notable labels that fall within other categories.

The First Growths chart is only a clear indication of the rich history behind each winery, and does not benchmark the complete standard of wines, only the collectibility value it holds.

If you are not one who drinks wines or know much about investment-grade wines, do not worry as you can trust a broker from a sound brokerage to advise you on the labels to secure and learn along the way based on advise and rappall.

Should you face a phobia of a Lehman Brother’s collapse in this parallel vehicle, do not worry about liquidating because after all, the wines are stored under your name, non-withdrawable from the storage facility even by the brokerage itself.

Fine Wines have to be kept carefully, which is why storage is also included. The correct temperature and humidity level help ensure the value of the wines when it is time for trading.

The labels on the wine bottles are kept in tact by the right maintained humidity level in the facility (which is usually a bonded warehouse, not subject to government taxes unless withdrawn for consumption). This is important as the label is representative of the brand of the wine.

You would not want to purchase a luxury handbag or watch with a damaged tag or embossing.

Root yourself in a sound brokerage, trust your broker and equip yourself with a little of bare basics via the transparent accessibility of the internet.

In fact you can look forward to toasting yourself to a ripe yield of sound returns, for this is a vehicle that allows for you to have a steady buffer in your investments, based on its low correlation with the movement of the economy.

This low volatility alone is enough for you to drink to good cheers.