A Touch of Clay

Dear friends,

I refer to having read several of the past responses on this matter, and agree that what has been done is no laughing matter (pun definitely not intended).

In point form to highlight some issues:
1) Actors’ time involved in attending of ‘audition’
2) Lack of decency in showing basic respect

These two points sum up my sentiments after having observed your interaction.

1) Actors’ Time Involved in Attending of ‘Audition’
Singapore is unlike our larger counterparts who can afford full-time media actors who don’t have to hold day jobs and are widely applauded on the big screen or TV.
It is advisable not to be inspired by gags of other countries such as the States, where famous A / B-list actors are punked and pranked on in gags.
Our actors here take the time out to attend auditions steadfastly, some in the hopes of being able to work hard at expanding their portfolio, and may not meet with an all-too easy process of leave application from their day jobs, etc.
MCS cannot blame the Arts Community for this reaction, because what has been displayed is the true and honest expressed feelings of the victims.
I label them victims because if this was not a media gag for sake of entertainment (and in this case, severe lack of), I might be inclined to find this a mis-selling of product, a mis-representation, and being a media body does not exempt any corporation / organisation from being accused on those grounds.
In short, grievous, and poorly handled.
The senior management should seriously look into this matter before it goes altogether public.
If the production company should not want to be misunderstood as being possibly fraudulent in-part or completely, they are encouraged to come forth with sound reason (not excuse), and be aware that if the Canadian counterpart should know of this is all its entirety (i.e. a petition be drawn up and sent over / made public), the extent of consequences could be un-funny.

2) Lack of Decency in Showing Basic Respect
As communicated, do not take it for granted that our local actors can afford the luxury of time in going for auditions they perceive and hope to be genuine, because of good faith. The fact that this can be executed at the expense of actors who have to take time out from their daily work or family, provides grounds for a gag that’s anything but funny.
There is no humour and we can see no hilarity in where the planning committee is / was coming from.
It strikes me as juvenile, and poorly attained in terms of showmanship for entertainment purposes.
And do not turn that table to accuse the victimised actors for that in turn, because they have every right to feel, in short, cheated.
Should the people responsible for this find the actors who have stepped forth, to be ‘petty’ or any sense along those lines, please feel free to do a self-check. No two societies are the same. We are not the United States, we are not Canada, much as actors all strive to achieve the same purpose, and that is to entertain.
However if in a society and culture like ours, where prudence is not executed to at least ensure that basic respect remains intact, may I suggest, that the people behind the planning of this idea take their talented ideas to foreign soils.
Because then maybe, we are too small-minded to hold large ideas like theirs, such as belittling actors of their time.

My two cents’ worth.

And apologies if it sounded a little harsh.

Regards,
Touch of Clay

Words expressed are of personal opinion and by no means express the collective word of members of the arts community.

This was not meant to be a formal interview, it was spurred by a sudden series of questions that were partly due to mischief and incredulous spontaneity.

There’s Arnie, Heidi Klum, Hitler and cows. Part of the probable reason why the conversation became a little spurred was because it was my first time meeting the German, it was his last night out in Singapore, and I had barely spoken with him the hours before.

TouchofClay: So Ben, is it fick dich or fickendoo?
Ben: (Starts grinning) You mean as in - ?
TouchofClay: Yup, as in ‘help you very much’
Ben: It’s ‘Fick Dich’
Female Counterpart: What are you guys talking about?
Ben: The use of the word “You” here is in “Dich”, compared to “Du”.

We then went on to try explaining to a female counterpart what Ben was trying to say about the usage of the German language, such as the word “Du” meaning “you.”

Female Counterpart: I still don’t get it
Ben: In this case we use “Du” for “you have”, and -
Female Counterpart: Noun, as I said.
TouchofClay: What he is saying is the use of the word “You” is used differently in the German language. Whereas in English you just say “You” but for them there are different words used.
Female Counterpart: Ah, now I get it!

Disclaimer: our female counterpart is an intelligent young lady also studying in NUS with Ben. It was his attempted explanation that threw her off a little, and I don’t quite blame her.

TouchofClay: Anyway, is it pronounced “Rahm-schtein” or “Rahm-schteen?”
Ben: “Rahm-schtein”. They’re so popular outside of Germany it’s almost ridiculous.
TouchofClay: Considering half the world doesn’t know what they’re singing, but picks up on their energy. I think they’re quite okay really.
Ben: I like this band called the “(Insert German words here)”. The second word means “kids”, the first word is that thing they have on the waters… you know like man-made, created, false something…they have it a lot in Holland…”
Female Counterpart: Dam?
Ben: Yes, a dam.
TouchofClay: Of course we were not guessing windmills.
Ben: That’s the first word, the second one’s “kids”.
TouchofClay: (Moment of sheer revelation) THE DAM KIDS!

Female counterpart cracks up so hard she has to slap my open palm, which was not meant for a high-five of any sort, but left open because there had to be a matter-of-fact wave. I receive with thanks anyway. What are these kids, wet and wild?

TouchofClay: So which part of Germany do you like the most?
Female Counterpart: Let’s not get him started
Ben: My place
TouchofClay: Which is?
Ben: Close to Frankfurt
TouchofClay: So instead of referring to it as ‘Your Place’ or ‘Close to Frankfurt’ when we talk, have you ever considered educating the ignorant on the place?
Ben: Mainz (Grins)
TouchofClay: See, educate us.
Ben: Well if I were in Germany I’d just say Mainz
TouchofClay: And you just educated us didn’t you, instead of saying “close to Frankfurt”

Female counterpart cracks up at Ben’s sheepish look.

TouchofClay: So Ben, in all seriousness, does Hamburg have a lot of cows?

Female counterpart looks at me.

TouchofClay: Ali G moment, sorry. It could be the time of the night.
Ben: Cows?
TouchofClay: You know… hamburgers.

Female counterpart erupts into laughters amidst injected “oh-no’s” and looks at Ben.

Ben decidedly plays along at entertaining my lame questions.

TouchofClay: How patriotic are you?
Female Counterpart: Ok let’s really not go there
She starts laughing.
Ben: I like my country, yes. There’s Heidi Klum.

A semi-dreamy look covers his face as he cracks into a grin.

TouchofClay: What makes you think she’s from Germany despite her “Auf Wiedersehen”? She could be from Austria.
Ben: (A semi-devasted, part indignant look covers his face) No, she’s from Germany! Austria producers losers. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s from Austria.
TouchofClay: So in that case, he being a star, what makes you think he’s not German?

Female counterpart cracks up at insinuation and Ben gets it shortly after and looks at me.

TouchofClay: I’d like to say I was not insulting you, because it’d depend on how you look at Arnie. So is he a loser?

The look on Ben’s face suggests he’d like to shut up instead, but cracks into a grin.

TouchofClay: You know, he goes “I’ll be Bach”, but why not Mozart or Beethoven?
Ben: Bach’s German
TouchofClay: Which means Arnie’s German.
Ben: No he isn’t!
TouchofClay: You just want to claim all geniuses for yourself. Bach could be Austrian, just like Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe’s probably Kiwi’s instead of Aussie.

Female counterpart cracks up, like Ben’s face cracks into a grin.

Ben: Well Mozart and Beethoven are German too.
TouchofClay: Mozart? German?
Ben: (Deliberate smug look) They are both German.

TouchofClay: So, Ben. Frankfurt.
Female Counterpart: Oh no.
Ben: (Looking as if he’s ready to take on a challenge.)
TouchofClay: Are there a lot of pigs in Frankfurt?
Ben: Pigs?
TouchofClay: You know, pork Frankfurters, or maybe you guys have lots of chicken there instead.
Female Counterpart: Why did I have a feeling you’d say that already, haha!

Ben cracks into another grin and starts shaking his head.

TouchofClay: So why Heidi Klum?
Ben: Ahhhhh (dreamy look crosses his face, but of course I’m only half exaggerating) Because she’s Heidi Klum, like what you said earlier, MILF
TouchofClay: Or MMILF? (everything is pronounced as a word) Because she’s the mother of all MILFs?

Female counterpart cracks up

Ben: (Grins) Yes
TouchofClay: Or MoMILF?
Ben: And that.

I like the dreamy look on his face and has a new aspiration.

TouchofClay: And the fact that she might be Austrian.
Ben: No!
TouchofClay: Why not? Didn’t Austria provide a safe passage for the Germans during WWII?
Ben: In a way, yeah.

TouchofClay: So Ben
Female Counterpart: Oh no
Ben: (Grinning and looking as if he’s ready to take on anything)
TouchofClay: In all seriousness what of Hitler?
Ben: Well if anyone were to say anything good about him in using his name on the streets they could get arrested. You know the (starts using finger to draw and signal some symbol) crossed thing they spray, those people?
TouchofClay: Swastika, Ben, Swaaaa-steee-ka. Not like “Close to Hamburg” where we don’t know Mainz.

Female counterpart cracks up.

Ben: Yeah, that. Some people spray that?
TouchofClay: Punks or… skinheads! Skinheads?
Ben: Yeah skinheads. If they spray that they could get arrested too.
Female Counterpart: We’d be arrested in Singapore for spraying that too.
TouchofClay: Yeah, maybe for vandalism.

Ben: So yeah we can’t really say his name unless it’s like “Hitler’s an asshole” or something like that then it’s okay.
TouchofClay: Please note that whatever I’m asking or saying is not out of disrespect to you guys, it’s really meant to be half in jest you know.
Ben: Heidi Klum.

I turn to Female Counterpart and tell her “For everything we do not know about Germany, there’s Heidi Klum.”

TouchofClay: So if we were to sneeze and go “achooo-Hitler” that would be okay?
Ben: Well
TouchofClay: Shitler

Female counterpart nearly spurts drink out of her mouth and starts laughing, telling me, evidently, that she nearly spat drink out of her mouth.

TouchofClay: Well that’s to make it sound more natural when you sneeze, isn’t it?

Ben starts laughing.

TouchofClay: So Ben
Female Counterpart: Oh no
TouchofClay: What if Heidi Klum’s a descendant of Hitler?
Ben: No!
TouchofClay: I mean no disrespect to your grandfather

Ben and female counterpart crack up.

TouchofClay: I did say it’s all only a joke, no offense okay?
Ben: (Keeping a straight face)
TouchofClay: Or great-grandfather, but grandfather’s correct I think, from the number of years.
Ben: Well… Heidi Klum.
TouchofClay: Stop your dream, wake up and come back to the real world. You’re German, go be an F1 driver, a Hugo Boss model or something, don’t study.

Ben grins.

TouchofClay: But then of course please do study.
Female Counterpart: Go work for Audi!
TouchofClay: Ah, Ben, the Auto-bahhhhhhn.

Ben’s face lights up.

Ben: Autobahn! Yeah I like it.
TouchofClay: Have you ever driven on it?
Ben: Well yeah, I was at about 230.
TouchofClay: You guys do KM or Miles in Germany? KG or Stones and Pounds? Metres or Foot / Feet?
Ben: We do it the smart way, it’s same here.

There’s a pause and I anticipate a cow’s fart.

True enough.

Ben: You guys stole our system.
TouchofClay: We were part of the British Colony, not German.

Ben grins.

TouchofClay: As far as I’m concerned you guys could have stolen our system.
Ben: No, I’m sure you guys stole it.
TouchofClay: Like dictation is a national sport for you guys, thanks to Hitler.

The conversation goes on, I cannot remember parts of it, only in bits and pieces, and I really am feeling that here’s one good German boy who’s going to tour the region some before heading back to the land of burgers and sausages, and Blackforest desert, a delightful company indeed.

*No part of the conversation involving the Chaplin-Mustached dictator was meant to be insulting in any way towards to Germans - as Ben said they do not condone his deeds of the past and do not want a bad history as such to repeat itself. I have known some lovely German people and am by no means expressing biased sentiments against them.

Cliched title for a simple update, thanks to multi-tasking.

Too many hours spent on Facebook and talking with a girl friend burnt out by work and almost excommunicated by bits of her own sanity, if not for finally being able to go home.

At almost 2 in the morning (or was it 3?).

After 8 days of almost sleeping every night on work compounds.

Impounded like an over-chastised muscle car.

Anyway, she survived with the support of some colleagues and friends, the iLove factor.

Meaning I, love myself more after seeing all these people stand by me.

Her social life was almost epitomised by Facebook and its quizzes.

So now she’s finally back home and self-induced with some medication to prevent the onset of flu she sensed coming on.

iLove her, this sister of a friend indeed, who’s stood by me much and given so much especially patience in some, well many, ways.

Random entry… Ta, Debz, and good night!

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